Fun, Olympus style
by WhiteRosesHaveBlackThorns
Summary: After the Trojan War, the gods of Olympus are bored. But, Ares has a plan...More detailed description inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: After the Trojan War the gods of Mount Olympus are bored…Again. So what happens when two mortals stumble upon an old lyre of Apollo's, a snapped-in-half bow of Cupid's, and an arrow, a broken lightning bolt of Zeus's, and golden armor made by Hephaestus himself, with a sword to match? Pure fun (for both mortal and Olympian!)**

"Athena…"

"What, Aphrodite?"

"I'm bored!"

Athena sighed and put down her miniature loom. "Aren't we all?"

"Hello Athena. Aphrodite," Ares said, conjuring a chair for him in between the two goddesses.

"Hi. Ares, aren't you bored?" Aphrodite asked.

"Yeah, I suppose. But I've got a plan!"

"Not another war…" Athena groaned. She may have been the goddess of war, but that didn't mean she had to like it.

"No, not another war. Well, it may start a war, but…Whatever. It'd be fun."

Athena covered her face with her hand, and mumbled in between her fingers,

"I'm scared of what your definition of _fun _is."

"How about we go into Hephaestus's junkyard and take out a bunch of stuff, then lay it somewhere random where we know the mortals will find it?" Ares proposed, excited.

"Don't you think that'd be rather, oh, I don't know, dangerous?"

"Who said fun had to be safe?"

"Well I'm in!" Aphrodite said.

"All _right_!" Ares replied, giving her a high-five. Athena rolled her eyes and continued on making another tapestry on her loom.

"Now we just need one more person…" Ares hinted, battering his dark eyelashes at Athena.

"Nope."

"Someone strong and brave…"

"Nope."

"…but beautiful and wise…"

"Still no."

"…someone who can do anything she pleased, being Master Zeus's favorite child…"

"Ares, for the last bloody time, _no_!"

Ares pouted. "I'll give you a kiss."

"No."

"A sword?"

"I can always get Hephaestus to make one for me."

"A new temple?!"

Athena licked her lips. A new temple would be nice…Especially since her old Parthenon was old and neglected since the Trojan War had gone on for so long.

"I'll do it if… If you repair my Parthenon in Athens."

"Deal!" Ares said, taking her hand and shaking it. The smirk on his face couldn't get any wider.

"Okay, so, this is what we do…"

…

**A/N: Hello! I decided to give Namiku a break. And I love Greek Mythology! I shall post this in chapters (obviously, since it can't be done from where I stopped on this chapter) and I don't think I'll drop it…Maybe…Eh. Merry Christmas, Happy Hollow's Eve, have a nice New Years, and all that jazz. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I got bored and this story entertains me :D**

…

(In Zeus's office thinger)

"Master Zeus?"

"Yes, Hermes?" Zeus asked, turning to face his messenger.

"I have a message from the Fates."

"Well, don't just stand there, show me!"

Hermes handed him the letter and slumped down on a cushion beside him.

The message said:

_From the bane of boredom comes trouble, _

_In which case tempers may bubble._

_The gods of war and goddess of love,_

_Shall give the mortals something from above._

_From this may come your trouble._

_Hope that it doesn't double._

"What do you think I should do, Hermes?"

"You're asking _me_?" Hermes asked, surprised.

"Well you are also the god of thievery. You have a cunning wisdom that would suffice for advice."

Hermes blushed slightly from under his cap. "Why don't we just do nothing? The letter said that Aphrodite, Athena, and Ares will send the mortals something because they're bored. Why not let them have their fun?"

"If you think it best we do nothing, then that's fine. You're free to go."

"Thank you, Sir." With that Hermes disappeared.

…

"So, has everyone got the plan straight? Aphrodite, you sneak into your husband's forge where he always is and distract him while Athena and I get some junk from his 'collection'."

Aphrodite raised her hand.

"What, Aphrodite?"

"How do I distract him?"

"You're the goddess of love and whores, I'm sure you can figure something out," Athena snapped. She was getting annoyed with Aphrodite's flirting and endless immaturity.

"Right well, let's go!"

…

Hephaestus's "collection" was actually more like the gods' junkyard. It had everything, from Jason's _The Argo _to Achilles's helmet, to Hades's chariot that crashed after Dionysus got into a fight with them and wrapped grape vines around the wheel. It was massive, spreading over the undiscovered American continent.

"Okay, so, what're we looking for?" Athena asked, stepping over a pair of old sandals that burned your feet when you wore them.

"Anything that looks like it'd be fun if a mortal found it."

"Whose definition of fun?"

"Mine, obviously." Athena sighed.

"Hey, do you want your Parthenon fixed or not?"

"Fine, fine. Hey, what about this?" Athena asked, showing him Apollo's old lyre.

"Brilliant. Put it here," Ares directed, opening a bottomless bag he found.

After the course of an hour, Ares and Athena had collected a broken bow of Cupid's and an arrow, one of Hephaestus's golden swords, and an old defective lightning bolt of Zeus's.

"Let's go meet up with Aphrodite. I think we have enough," Athena said.

"Wait, I see something. Give me that gold thing." Athena lifted up the trash and uncovered the golden armor set that Hephaestus made to match the sword. She placed it in the bag, took Ares's hand, and said,

"You pick the hide-out."

Ares smirked and a gust of wind erupted around them. When she opened her eyes, Athena saw that they were in a room of pale white marble, with gems on the ceiling to make them look like stars when the light where off. In the middle of the room was a huge bed draped with black silk and gossamer. The wood was cherry oak and was polished to perfection. Athena felt the breath leave her lungs.

"You want to hide it _here_? In your _room?" _she asked. Ares shrugged.

"Yeah, why not?"

Athena looked at him with slight admiration. He could be smart and tactful when he wanted to be. Ares looked at her with the same gaze, but it was different. It was more…longing? If Athena hadn't been absorbed in him she would've frowned with confusion. He inched closer to her, and right when he was about to kiss her he drew back.

"Sorry," he murmured. He smiled sweetly and she couldn't resist kissing his cheek.

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Athena, I-" Ares started. Athena was surprised to see he was blushing and smiled softly.

"What is it?"

"I-I love yo-"

"AHEM?!" an impatient voice behind them said.

…

**A/N: Muhahaha. Some Athena/Ares love there ^-^**

**I was NOT planning that but, eh, the best things are those unplanned. Tell me if you like it! Peace!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Once again, I got bored. Just to let you know, I've somewhat developed the plot in my mind. **

**Meh…Emmy is depressed…But what do you care?**

…

**(Athena's POV)**

"Aphrodite! Hey! You're here," I greeted, turning away from Ares and smiling at her. She kept her arms crossed and started tapping on the floor with her slipper, reminding me of a cat tapping its tail. I saw little bits of static electricity buzzing from the empty space around her. If I weren't an immortal, I'm pretty sure she'd have killed me with the look she was giving me.

"Should I leave you two to talk?" Ares asked, uncertain. Aphrodite nodded and he disappeared, probably to the training rink.

"You…you…you _slut_!" Aphrodite screeched. Her hand rose as if to slap me. I raised my eyebrows.

"You should be talking. I didn't even kiss Ares. Didn't you two get caught under a net together? Besides, you're married," I pointed out. I lied about not kissing him, but I didn't want her to get even madder. It was a technicality anyway.

"He's _mine_. You hear me? MINE! If I ever see you two together again…" She smiled deviously. "If I see you together again, I'll personally make sure that your little romance fails. Oh, and you can bet that Zeus will hear about this." With that she disappeared on spot. I sighed and sat on the bed, my head cradled in my hands. I hated the memory of what betrayal I felt when Ares and Aphrodite got caught.

"What troubles you?" a soft voice asked me. Warm hands stroked my hair and flitted at the nape of my neck.

"You know what troubles me, Ares."

"Tell me anyway."

I lifted my head and looked at him.

"Your girlfriend is what troubles me," I said, spite slipping into my voice like poison slips into red wine.

"She's not my girlfriend. She's married."

"Ever heard of something called an affair?"

"No, actually, I haven't," Ares responded, taking me by the waist and pulling me into his lap. I rested my head against his chest. "But I've heard that they're extremely troublesome and usually not worth it afterward."

A couple of weeks ago I wouldn't have dared to do this. My crush on Ares had only been minimal. Plus I never guessed that he'd return it like this. I was used to being on my own, just training and sewing and giving out endless wisdom to the mortals in Athens that prayed to me about their troubles. I was also used to Aphrodite hating me, but that was usually because I refused to love anyone.

Oh, the irony. I let a small smile slip onto my face.

"See? And Hermes said that my jokes were horrible," Ares said, mistaking my smile of irony for a response to his jest. I let him think what he may and continued wandering around in my head. I suddenly felt exhausted. My eyelids slowly became heavier, and started to close.

"Sweet dreams," was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.

…

**A/N: Meow. I like this chapter. Don't you think Aphrodite is such a b with an itch? **

**Don't worry about the bag of godly trash. That shall be attended to in the next chappie. Just enjoy the turmoil of Greek gods and wonder what will happen next :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Arghh…Headache…**

**Good thing one of my many gifts is ignoring the unpleasant physical crap…Such as headaches :D**

…

**(Zeus's office…General POV)**

"Daaadddddddyyy?" called Aphrodite, entering Zeus's huge, extremely well-furnished room.

"What, Aphrodite? Wait, don't tell me- You got jealous because Ares likes Athena better, and now you're telling on them for stealing that bag of junk from your husband's collection, even though you helped them?" Hermes said, spinning around in Zeus's swivel chair **(Yes Greek gods have swivel chairs).**

"Oh, it's you," Aphrodite responded, biting her lip with distaste. "What are you doing in Daddy's chair? And why the _hell _did you turn it into a swivel chair? Where is Daddy, anyway?"

"I'm sitting in his chair, obviously, I like swivel chairs, and Master Zeus is out visiting Hades and Persephone. Any more questions?"

"How did you know about Ares and Athena?" Aphrodite asked.

Hermes pointed to the messenger hat on top of his head. "When you're the messenger of the gods, especially the Fates, you hear things."

"Hmph." Aphrodite conjured her own chair and sat in that. After a few minutes of silence, she took out her nail filer, softened away one tiny little invisible flaw, and shifted in her seat.

"Oh will you stop fidgeting? Honestly, you've learned _nothing _from all these years. You'd think spending a thousand or so years with the graceful Athena would do something to improve your patience, but I see that it is not so," Hermes snapped. He was the only one that could talk to her that way and still have the guts to keep going.

"When is Daddy going to be back?" Aphrodite asked, ignoring Hermes's insults. He shrugged.

"How should I know? Go ruin someone's love life or something if you're bored."

"Ah, screw you Hermes."

"You too."

…

**(Athena's weaving room…General POV again)**

Athena crossed one string of yarn to another, pulling it softly and jerking in moments of anger. Beside her in an untidy heap lay all of her failed tapestries, ripped or frayed or just plain horrible.

"Why are you so frustrated?" Ares asked, sitting beside her.

"I'm just… uninspired. And I swear this wool has been enchanted to hate me! It keeps knotting," Athena answered, taking the tapestry off of the loom and discarding it in the pile.

"Why don't you give weaving a break for a while? I still have that bag of junk in my room, and we need to make amends to Aphrodite anyway. C'mon." Ares pulled her to her feet and suddenly they were in Aphrodite's room.

"Ares, Athena, what a surprise. What do you want?" she asked, setting her cup of nectar on its platter.

"We, I mean _I_," Ares corrected, seeing Athena's glare at him, "wish to say sorry. Plus, we have yet give the mortals the bag of trash and honestly, things aren't getting any more entertaining. So, will you come with us?"

Aphrodite set her chin on her hand and pretended to think for a moment.

"Alright. I'll help thee. _But_," she paused for a moment, "no lovey-dovey crap. And I have to be able to see at least one of you at all times."

"Deal," Ares said, shaking her hand. "I'll meet you two on the shore of Crete. I need to fetch some stuff."

"Right, well, let's go!" Athena said after Ares was gone.

"I still don't like you."

"Great, 'cause I don't like you that much either. See you in Crete."

…

**(The Greek island of Crete…Athena's POV)**

"Ah, it feels so odd to be back on Earth," I sighed, letting the wind throw my dark hair around.

"Eek! Cold!" I turned and saw Aphrodite about calf-deep in the water, fighting with the wind to keep her skirts down. There was a rather large wave coming up behind her…

"Aphrodite, get out of the water if you want to keep your dress dry!" I called.

"I don't need advice from y- Ah!" I laughed as the wave swept over her, causing her to fall face first in the sand. "Crap! And I _liked _this dress! Ooh, I hate the mortal world!" she shouted.

"That's what you get when you don't listen!" I teased.

"Oh, shut up!"

"She's right, you know." Ares said, appearing beside me with the bag in his hand. "Come on, you two, we've got a mission to do!"

Aphrodite tried to get up, but another wave came and toppled her down. "Ares! Help me! I'm drowning!" she cried. I rolled my eyes.

"Goddesses don't drown," I said.

"I wasn't asking _you_, I was asking Ares. Now save me, dammit!"

After Aphrodite was finally on land again, we hiked to the nearest city.

"My feet hurt! Why couldn't we have teleported while we were still in our immortal forms?" Aphrodite whined.

"Because you need some exercise and I didn't think of it at the time," Ares answered.

"Where do you think we should leave the bag?" I asked. He shrugged.

"On someone's doorstep?" Aphrodite suggested.

"Nah, they would just throw it away."

"In a market stall?"

"We wouldn't be able to tell who found it."

"Well then _where_?" Aphrodite asked, frustrated with him.

"I'll know where when I see it!" Ares said. I rolled my eyes and said nothing.

"Halt! Who are you?" a guard asked when we approached the city gates.

"We're travelers. We came from Athens. She," Ares gestured to me, "is my girlfriend. She," he gestured to Aphrodite, "is our friend. We'd like to go in now, if you don't mind."

The guard gave us a look of disproval, but decided to let us in anyway.

"Jeez. Someone looks like they need to take a holiday," Ares commented.

"Not much we can do, though. Now, where do we dump the bag?" I asked. Ares looked around the busy market square and pointed to the mountains.

"There. At the foot of those mountains."

Aphrodite groaned. "_More _walking?!"

"Yep. C'mon."

We swerved through the marketplace, avoiding collisions, and trying not to anger anyone. Well, at least, Ares and I were.

"Watch where you're going, tramp!" Aphrodite shrieked when an old woman accidentally stepped on her foot. The woman glared at her but said nothing.

"_Try _to be nice, Aphrodite. You'll get us all in trouble with the way you're acting, and we don't want to be discovered," Ares said.

"Why not?" Aphrodite snapped. "What's so bad being discovered? I'm _sick _of being a mortal- I don't know how they do it!"

"If they discover that we're gods they'll spend all of their money building a temple to each of us with the date of our arrival, and take the sack as something to pray to!" I whispered to her.

"Athena's right," Ares agreed.

"You always think she's right. She could say that-that humans will eventually fly and you'd say that she's right! Besides, what's so bad about having another temple?"

"Well mainly it's the bag. It'd be useless if they never opened it, don't you think?" Ares asked.

"_Fine_. I'll try to be nice. But the next time someone steps on my foot, they're dead!"

I tried to keep myself from snickering. What could the goddess of love do, apart from turn them into a monster and ruin their love life? It was nothing seriously life-threatening…

The rest of the way to the mountain we said nothing, apart from Aphrodite muttering to herself about how horrible mortals were.

"We're here!" Ares announced.

"_Wonderful_. Now I can relax…" Aphrodite said, sitting on a rock. "So we're just going to leave it here?"

"Yep. I told you I'd know the spot when I saw it," Ares answered, setting the bag down on the ground.

"Okay, well, let's get out of here," I said, turning around.

"_No_. No more walking. I will just _die _if I walk one more step!"

"You're immortal. Now, c'mon, get up," I said. I tugged at her arm, but she wouldn't move.

"Let's just convert and teleport back," Ares suggested. "No one will see us."

"If you say so…" I willed myself to change into my immortal form, and suddenly stood a hundred feet under the mountain, rather than a thousand.

"I'm going to just stay here…" Aphrodite said. "I have no energy left in me."

"You have a complete spa treatment waiting for you at Olympus. Every one of your servants will be there attending to you, no one will bother you, and your husband won't come to your room that night," I said, attempting to lure her into turning immortal again. She immediately stood up, converted so fast that I could barely see it, and disappeared.

"Hey, what about me?" Ares asked.

"You have enough 'energy' to make it to your room."

"I know that, but I want to know what will happen tonight for me."

"Ask Apollo. Or the Fates. Or you can just wait."

"Fine," Ares sighed. He grabbed my hand and teleported us to his room.

"Why'd you bring me?" I asked, confused. Ares smirked.

"Because I'm pretty sure you'll be a part of what will happen tonight."

…

**A/N: LONG CHAPTER. I like this one too… Well now you know something more about the bag of godly trash. So…Yeah. Review please. I'll give you a rather large cookie! Oh yeah, and just for kicks:**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: Aphrodite, you do it.**

**Aphrodite: Why me?**

**Me: Because I want you to suffer.**

**Hermes: And I agree with Emmy. So, do the damn disclaimer already.**

**Me: *gives Hermes a high-five***

**Aphrodite: Fine…Emmy does not own anything except our personalities…And the cookie she shall give you for reviewing…**

**Me: Thank you.**

**Aphrodite: Don't push your luck.**


End file.
